I think back to when I was 12 years old, and a schoolmate of mine was tragically run over by a car. His parents were devastated, and the whole school was in shock. Condolences and kind words poured in, and we held eulogies and a requiem Mass. Friends and classmates shared memories of him, but even the most heartfelt words seemed inadequate. In the face of such tragedy, words fail us. Yes, he was taken too soon, but what struck me most wasn’t his untimely death, but the insufferable pain I saw in his parents.
Pope Francis once said, “Words of encouragement are at times banal or sentimental; they are not helpful.” In times of loss, what we can offer is not solutions, but simply the space to mourn. We must allow ourselves to grieve in solidarity with those who have lost a child. Empathy - just being there -holds more power than we realize.
Even though He could raise Lazarus from the dead, Jesus didn’t tell those around Him not to weep. In John 11:35, we see that “Jesus wept.” He mourned the death of His friend. Perhaps our best response, then, is to mourn with others. In grieving alongside them, we remind them that they are not alone. The loss is not just theirs; it’s a shared loss for the entire community. When we celebrate, we celebrate together. When we grieve, we grieve together. As the Jews remarked in John 11:36, “See how He loved him.” It is through love that we find healing.
Scholastic Bertrand Leong, SJ